Formal Self Introduction Letter (Draft 1)
Subject: Self Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Jae Wong, and I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself as one of your students taking your course in Effective Communication.
Having completed my studies in Electrical Engineering at Nanyang Polytechnic, I have an elaborate understanding of what this industry entails. Coupled with the knowledge and experience I have gained from doing my internship and studies, I now have a better idea of what I would like to pursue in the future. I wish to broaden my technical skillset as an engineer, which has led me to further my studies in mechanical engineering.
Being confident and open-minded are some of my strengths when it comes to communication. I feel that having confidence assures people of my ability to deliver results and I’m able to put my point across more effectively. Having confidence also allows me to better lead a team.
While interacting with my peers and participating in numerous discussions, I’ve learned that having an open mind is important. Empathizing and listening to other people’s perspectives allow me to gain more insight into the situation. Listening to different opinions that may challenge my own personal beliefs, encourages me to learn more as I have to consider other viewpoints.
As for my weakness, I often find myself having difficulty using the right form of communication. Instead of delivering my message through the most efficient method, I tend to use whichever medium is most convenient for me without considering the other person. There are times when meeting in person is more productive, but due to my own laziness, I often resort to just communicating through text or calls. However, I am working on improving myself and trying to be more proactive.
I have been actively working as a live band singer for almost 4 years now, hence having good communication skills is essential. Being able to connect with my audience plays a huge part in determining the overall atmosphere of the performance, so I wish to be able to develop better body language habits like maintaining eye contact and learn to be more engaging to keep the audience interested.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I am looking forward to the upcoming classes and hope to be able to achieve my objectives through this module.
Sincerely,
Jae Wong
Dear Jae Wong,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your email. It's reassuring to know you have faith in yourself. Your email was well-organized in terms of structure. From beginning to end, the flow of your email was excellent. You've gone into great detail about your strengths and flaws. You've also provided actual instances.
Overall, your introduction letter addressed the given requirements well. I hope that through this effective communication module, you will be able to overcome your shortcomings. I want to interact with you more in the future, and I look forward to our lessons together.
Best regards,
Xunjia
Dear Jae,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your introductory letter. I am pleased to learn that your affliction for engineering comes from your experiences as a student, as well as from your experience as an intern. From reading your post, I am able to deduce that you truly are someone who is confident as it comes off in your writing. The structure of your letter is also very well established, and all the conditions of an introductory letter are well met.
I hope you will be able to better understand the methods of properly conveying a message by the end of the trimester as it will also be an undoubtedly useful skill in the near future. I look forward to having more interactions with you in the near future.
Best regards,
Rahman
Dear Jae,
ReplyDeleteYour letter was very insightful and informative with your views supported by your experiences. It is well structure and detail. Your strength and weakness are shown in your writing, carrying youself as a confident person.
Being able to perform to an audience with your talent is astounding and not many people are able to do so. Overcoming laziness is not an easy feat as I too struggle with it. Being proactive and resilient in changing ourselves will indeed help us in the long run.
I hope we can continue to work together to gain meaningful skills and experiences over the next few weeks and be better in communicating effectively.
Best regards,
Umar
Dear Jae,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clearly articulated and informative letter. You do a fine job covering the scope of the assignment while detailing your background, learning and experience then connecting these to your interests and communication skills.
It's obvious in your description (and in your demeanor in class) that you have gained the sort of experience and knowledge that your classmates would benefit from hearing about. For example, since you mention being the lead singer in a band, it would be good for you to share with everyone the demands that singing in front of an audience requires when you want to 'grab audience attention' then keep it engaged. Dont hesitate to share when we prep for the formal oral presentation.
(Just as an aside, I performed for many years in a rock and blues band -- having even played at Crazy Elephant in Clark Quay and a couple other venues -- so I can relate to the demands of stage performance, and I feel that doing so helped me develop as a public speaker; however, it's good for students to hear from someone in their own age group.)
This reflection also flows well and is accurate in terms of language use. It's really a pleasure to read.
At the same time, there are a few issues to consider:
1. capitalization issues
-- taking your course in Effective Communication. > ?
-- Having completed my studies in Electrical Engineering at Nanyang Polytechnic, I have.... > ?
2. lack of clarity
-- Empathizing and listening to other people’s perspectives allow me to gain more insight into the situation. > (which situation?)
3. punctuation issue
-- Listening to different opinions that may challenge my own personal beliefs, encourages me to learn more as I have to consider other viewpoints. > (Why is there a comma after 'beliefs'?)
-- I have been actively working as a live band singer for almost 4 years now, hence having good communication skills is essential. > (comma splice) ?
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
p.s. What sort of music do you perform?